Thursday, December 3, 2015

An open letter to one of my dearest friends

we made it.

I have know you now for several years, I've been here with you through your toughest struggle and you've held my hand through mine.

I just want you to know I appreciate you.
We made it!
We're happy! Our  lives are perfect now and we have the facebook posts to prove it!

and also we're dirty dirty liars.

When we were talking at lunch and you were telling me about your sister's 7th pregnancy and we both laughed and commented on what a rockstar she is, we were so normal. so together. Hell, I didn't comment on punching your sister in the ovary a single time--- because I've healed. at least on the surface.

I just wanted you to know that it's okay if you are broken, because I'm broken too.
I don't think anyone can go through what we have-- you especially--and come out whole.

and that's okay.
I've come to realize that it's okay to not be okay.
not all the time, not part of the time, not ever.

you have earned the right to curse and cry and generally not be okay.
but you don't do any of those things, you've found contentment and genuine happiness, as I have in my own life.

We are two strong superhero women who can be completely shattered and stand there and hold ourselves together with sheer stubborn willpower.
We can stand here and have a conversation about someone else having a baby and neither of us are angry, or sad. we can even make witty remarks and spread positive reinforcement.

I know that other people probably expect you to be "over it" and to be all better--- like having a magical boo boo kissed by the wonderful blessings in your life; but I want you to know that I'm still broken, I probably always will be.

And it's okay if you are too.
I still love you.


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