Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Look around you, I bet there's someone standing next to you with a small penis.

and I have developed an extra special way of determining that.

more on that subject later. 

Firstly, let me say that I have discovered the MOST awesome bottled water of all time!

No it's not filled with vitamins.
No it's not filtered 20 times through the worlds most microthin filter.
No it's not blessed by the blood of Christ.

It has this awesome spout.

Which conveniently is like sucking on a nipple. which for whatever reason makes it awesome.

now the next time you buy this water you will think of me and this blog. you're welcome.

ahem, so back to the small penises.

Most people say that when a man has a LARGE loud truck/motorcycle (especially with monstrous tires or flashy rims) that may indicate that he has a small penis. which is undoubtedly true, these men are definitely compensating for something.

But I've found an even more ELEMENTAL way to figure out if he has a small penis.
You can look at someone wherever they are and just KNOW.

In church.
At your workplace picnic.
Even in the pool.

just look at him...

does he look like he's recently been pumping iron and eating raw eggs?
Are there muscles on top of his muscles?
Does he strut around with his arms slightly held aloft from his body?

YES?  small penis.

for two reasons I find this to be true--

Reason Number 1) if he's ARNOLD big, (you know which Arnold) then he's probably juicing, and steroids shrink your manhood

And Number 2) If he's just really muscular but you think it's within realm of reason that he just worked out until he got there--- well If he had a decent sized penis then --a. he wouldn't be peacocking himself around to attract attention in whatever way nature will allow it. and b. He wouldn't have that amount of free time for the gym.


case closed.
sorry if your penis is small, sometimes it helps if you just know how to work it though, that is  TRUE. women really mean it when they say that.

if not even sexual prowess can make your penis any more stimulating than a flat object such as another vagina, well you're screwed. and also your wife is probably secretly a lesbian.

that is all.


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