Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I'm tired of trying to be just like you, you're horrible.

Honestly when did I turn into one of the mindless drones that I mock openly?

I started thinking about it this morning, while I was brushing my teeth and tying back my hair. I have been doing SO GOOD at being my own individual! when did I start trying to be what everyone else wants me to be again?

When I was in high school, I was in a co-dependant relationship. I can tell you from experience, it is NOT a good idea to let someone else change you. It started with the little things, "oh I like it better when you wear your hair down", "but you look so nice when you wear clothes from such and such store', 'don't hang out with so and so, they'll turn you into a whore and you'll cheat on me'. I was basically a life sized Barbie, with only his opinions, he clothed me, picked my friends, beliefs, and chose my future goals, the whole nine yards. And guess what? when he broke up with me for the type of woman he had been working so hard to keep me from being, I was completely lost. Empty. Opinionless. I couldn't have even told you what my favorite food was. and that is NOT an exaggeration.

Slowly, piece by piece, bit by bit, I found myself. It was like rediscovering the whole world, painfully scary sometimes, but mostly wonderous! If you know me very well now, you know that I have regained my own sense of self awareness, and my opinions are loud and clear ;) lol.

About three years ago I found Photography. I've always loved it, but as a child we couldn't afford film and development fees so I never really got to develop it much. I got my first digital camera, a sony cybershot from bestbuy and it's been true love ever since!

Then, I got a job at the wal-mart portrait studio. Oh my gosh! I came to find my calling! I LOVE helping people to make those precious memories! and I was SO good at it, I had regulars all the time! :) I was still craving more portraiture knowledge, so I went to work for Lifetouch, a whole new game! Floor posing is NOT easy when you're starting out with only knowledge of a table and an immobile camera! But I learned, and I've been learning ever since!

Alot of Photographers are taking their photography in an entirely different direction now, gone are the brown canvases and plain smiley pictures of yesterday. Newer modern work is mostly on location, and it's more edgy. ... personally I don't think it takes ANY talent to hold your shutter down and take 1000's of pictures then sort through them for the best 50 and then edit the tar out of them in photoshop. That's not photography. I'd much rather take 50 awesome shots, and hardly have to delete any of them, and be able to hand them over without editing. I feel like that's what makes my PHOTOGRAPHY better than yours.

Well, this morning when I was brushing my teeth That was the epiphany I had.

Although I like that new, hip, edgy photography. I'm in LOVE with a traditional portrait. Those are the pictures families want on thier walls. And I want to give people those memories! I'm not saying I want to be boring and posed, some candid shots are great, but I'm in love with a studio setup. ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH IT!

And I'm not changing my work anymore. I'm not going to try to be you, I want to be ME. Fun traditional portraiture. Memories for a lifetime!

I think I'm gonna paint a new canvas :)


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