Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Welcome to my Brain :D

First things First...

Hello. My name is Tiffany, I am the stereotypical crazy cat lady in the making. I prefer to spend my time alone, and I tend to talk to myself. Since I don't want to end up in some sort of shock therapy I've decided to talk to you. Aren't you lucky?

I am semi-happily married to a mostly great guy named Brandon. The man is nuts about me, despite my eccentic ways. But God love him, he's a *gasp* Dog Lover. oh well, I guess no one is perfect.

I'm in the creative development department of a multibilliondollar multinational corporation. yeah yeah, I work at wal-mart. I do enjoy my job, I'm a cake decorator, it definately beats other things I've done with my time in efforts to pay the never ending bills associated with adulthood. Of course I still have to put up with the general public, which is in turns frustrating and hilarious.
When I'm not spending most of my existance covered in icing or reading with my cats, I am often found behind the viewfinder of my nikon dslr trying to make sense of this non-sensical world we live in. I mostly have been found to enjoy taking portraits of people I know and care about, and yes I do it the traditional boring way. Some photographers have said they"despise posed photography", well, I don't. I think people deserve a nice traditional family portrait. I don't know about you, but I want a photograph that looks professional enough to print and put on my wall. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy artistic portraiture as much as the next gal, but for my family portrait I don't want what appears to be a really well taken snapshot.

Its' funny, when I was growing up I never thought "man! I want to work at walmart for 9 dollars an hour and never go to college" and here I am, a straight A student that just stopped going. I worked so hard all those years in high school to get so far, then got into college and decided to get married and be poor as heck instead. I'm hoping within the next year or so I can gat back into school, I just have NO motivation whatsoever. All my friends and aquaintances just have this never failing purpose for thier lives, I'm just standing still it seems. But if you asked me what I want to be when I 'grow up' I would still not have an answer. 23 years old, and completely ignorant as to what I want to do with my life.

Actually there is one thing I desperately want to do with my life...I desperately want to start a family. Brandon and I have been trying for over three years now, to no avail. I'm just obsessed really, watching everyone I know have baby after baby and here I sit, alone and sterile by marriage. We are fighting a fertility issue for the opportunity to procreate, and thus far we have been losing. Finally I got promoted to full time at work and have GREAT health insurance so we can go to the doctor and get our options...and we have yet to make an appointment. Is it ridiculous to think I've been obsessing for three years about having a baby, we finally get the opportunity no I'm procrastinating? I guess my main fear is 'what if' I go to the DR. and he says, no way. you're too messed up, it's just not gonna happen. I'm petrified. I'd rather live with the hope that someday I may have a family, than have it stolen from me forever.

well now that you've been giving the sampler platter of all my hopes, dreams, and nuerosis I'll let you get back to surfing porn, or facebooking, or whatever you were doing before your curiousity lead you to my metaphorical doorstep. Keep coming back, I'm rather interesting once you get to know me.

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